We all want to honor the pets we've lost and miss. And there are so many ways to honor them, as I've learned over the years. Pets can be memorialized through words, photos (or slide shows or videos), websites, music, artwork of all types, and outdoor memorials from gravestones to memorial gardens.
All these memorials honor them and help us heal.
But one of the most important ways we can honor our pets -- the one which I believe brings the most healing -- is by helping others.
Other people, and other animals.
These are living memorials, and never-ending memorials, because the care and love given will often be extended to others by those who have been helped, whether it's a rescued animal bringing blessings of love and companionship to a new forever family, or a person saved from the depths of despair reaching out with kindness and sympathy to others who are grieving.
Like ripples spreading out from a pebble tossed into a pond, the effect of donating time or money to a shelter, or offering other people support in a pet loss grief support group, can extend far beyond that first helpful effect.
It's important to remind our members of that. Those kind actions and words can go on helping, long afterward.
I believe this is especially true with online support groups, where people can find comfort from what others wrote even if years have passed since those messages were posted, whether the person who posted the message was sharing similar feelings of loss or offering words of reassurance and hope. Those words are always fresh, the first time they're read by someone new. They can have the same impact they had on the day they were posted.
When we help others, whether animals or humans, we're paying it forward, after having had our own lives brightened immeasurably by our pets' unconditional love for us.
And sharing the love we were blessed to receive brings true healing. Trying to help someone else when you're hurting yourself, grieving deeply, may seem difficult at first, almost impossible. But you'll find if you reach out that you'll become stronger by helping others no matter how weak and helpless your loss might have you feeling now. You'll lift yourself up, as you lift others up.
The effects of that kindness will be much wider-reaching than you'll ever know, and much more appreciated.
Especially by your loved ones on the other side, who I believe will see just how much good you've done, and how far those ripples of care and compassion are reaching, as you honor them by helping others.
Cindy Morgan (SinbadsMom)
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1 comment:
Thank you, Cindy, for this.
I very much believe in "paying it forward". Unconditional love and care is not a natural concept to us humans - unlike, to our animals, for whom it is wholly a part of their very spirit - and our instinct is to want to "pay back" others for good deeds rendered to us. But often it is the case that "paying it forward", when we are able, to somebody who needs it more than the person who originally helped us, is the most healing thing for both parties.
I have experienced many times over, the healing that comes with reaching out to others. When I have been in need of comfort myself, and have sought out those who could help, I have so often instead come across people who were crying out even more desperately than I was; and to put aside my own pain, even just briefly, and allow them to lean the weight of theirs on me, has been surprisingly healing to me. I think it is because we understand from our own pain, how another person feels going through theirs. And with this empathy, comes a sharing of souls.
This lovely blog says all of that, and much more, so eloquently and I think that even if others who read it take just one or two small points - as, I have done - out of it that they can apply to themselves, it is very inspiring.
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